I woke up this morning feeling like I really needed to write. I got in from work last night and slept all night long. I did eventually wake up and use the bathroom and I browsed on Facebook and Instagram for a little bit. However, I had a restless night and my dreams were all over the place. I woke up with a slight attitude because I feel like I am tired of people and their lies and excuses. I can say that I’ve had made excuses for some of the things gone wrong in my life, but I can say now that I have no more excuses left. Have you ever been tired of being tired? Well, I think and know I am at that point in my life. I’ve made more excuses as to why my books are still sitting on my computer and not on the shelves of Barnes and Noble or some other book store. Well maybe it wasn’t an excuse at first but now it is. My mom had just died and I was in the middle of looking into self-publishing and lost all motivation to do anything at that point. It’s been over two years and still nothing has progressed with my books. Why, simply because I haven’t done anything to make it happen. It’s time for me to either make it happen or not.
I have always notice that in relationships we tend to make excuses for our partners actions. They only hit me because I made them upset. Wrong, no one should ever put their hands on you in any way. They don’t want me to be friends with the same-sex because they feel that it’s disrespectful. Wrong, why do you have to cater to someone else’s insecurities? I’m not saying don’t be mindful of your partner’s concerns and wants. However, don’t put your own concerns and wants to the side because of the likes of others. When is it ever okay for your partner to disrespect you and you making excuses for their behavior? It’s never okay to feel like you have to sneak or lie to your partner because you know their reactions would be unnecessary. When is okay for you to start to make excuses for someone else’s wrongdoing in your relationship? When you find yourself doing this is when the relationship is headed down the road for failure because you’re making an excuse as to why this person action is warranted. A person being upset and hurt isn’t an excuse for treating anyone with disrespect. If a relationship is to work it should already be built on love and trust so that there will never be a need for lies or excuses.
I would say that when dealing with your family we all have that one family member or several family members who we tend to make excuses for. Why do we feel it’s okay that we do that? I tell you why, it is because we have been programmed to make excuses for them. They don’t have a job, but we say that because of their lack of finances they can’t get to the interviews. Wrong, there are plenty of programs that will help you with carfare and clothing. It’s not an excuse to be in your twenties and you’re still unemployed and laying on your mother or a family member’s couch. It’s definitely sad if you have children involved and you’re not taking care of them. Fast money isn’t always the best money and if you think it is then your sadly mistaken. What will be your excuse when you end up dead or in jail? I did it for my family, no sir; you did it for your own selfish needs. Wait, your family may be okay with this because you’re contributing to the household but again at what cost. If you don’t have an education, get one and stop saying that you can’t. If you can’t find a job on your own, ask for help and stop saying you can’t. I work hard to provide for my daughter and to make sure she knows that the only way you’re going to succeed in life is to work for it. I tell her all the time, if you think things are going to be given to you without you working for it in life, you’re going to be one disappointed person. I made excuses for the people in her life that weren’t around and told her it’s because we moved away to another state.
Excuse my French but that is Bullshit!! No one has the right to make an excuse as to why they aren’t a part of my child’s life. They chose not to be and that’s point blank period. I may have gotten off topic just a little but what I’m saying still goes with my topic. As a single mother, we make excuses for the absent parent and his family. I will only say this and won’t got all into this subject today but I have never been one those parents to take their child away from their father because of the lack of or the excuses always being made as to why something can’t be done. I’ve always been that parent to say all she needs is that figure in her life to show her that she’s loved and cared for. Not only from him but from the whole entire family and I’m not throwing shade or trying to rattle anyone’s cage. I just find it sad that no effort has been made to be a part of her life. Okay, I’m done with that…lol, I may not be liked even more after this little part of my blog but it’s okay the truth may hurt only if you know it’s the truth.
Just to touch back on the relationship a little. We forget that we want to be happy, but we make excuses as to why we need to make a relationship work that isn’t working or even a friendship. We say we do it for love, but we cheat or lie to find the happiness that we search for. Why stay if you’re constantly making excuses? Do you feel like you owe someone something because you may have lied or cheated? Do you feel like the love is there but it’s not the same? Yet and still you still try to make it work. Why is it so hard to let go of it and be real with yourself. It wasn’t what you wanted anymore and that’s not an excuse that’s reality. Guess, you will only know how to be truly happy when you stop making excuses as to why you’re content at where you are in life.
Well like I said I got straight up and started writing and I will probably write something else pertaining to this subject or not. I don’t know yet because I’m still trying to fully wake up and get my life together this morning… Until next time
About Black Betty: From NY to GA and Back to NY again, Black Betty is a 34-year-old single mom of a beautiful daughter. I had custody of my three younger sisters. (which have now finished high school and are in college). Her desire is for people to feel the love that she has for writing and hopes in reading her blog it helps someone along the way. God has blessed her with the gift of writing and she shares it with the world. True to her word. Check out check her blog – Jay’s Journey and see what she does the best and follow her on Twitter.
Black Westchester - News With The Black Point Of View is an online news magazine for people of color for Westchester and the Tri- State area of New York at every economic level. Our mission is to promote the concept of “community” through media.