We live in a time where we hear many people, both men, and women, trying to put a damper on love between Black men and women. In our efforts to live a fruitful and healthy life, as well as to take the time to grasp what exactly Black Love is before we begin using the term love. When we put forth the effort to comprehend Black Love, we will learn that it is the key to fulfillment and achievement.
Black Love and happiness are inextricably linked concepts that significantly determine our mental and emotional health. Being loved frequently has a significant role in determining our level of happiness since it helps us feel accepted, understood, and like we belong somewhere. On the other hand, because we need to comprehend love, we frequently look for it in the wrong places. When we think about love, we often imagine happy endings from fairy tales, or we have expectations that are not reality. Our expectations might even lead us to overlook the genuine love and pleasure standing right before us, and usually, that is what happens.
Because Black Love is such a complicated topic, I decided to write this book. Because of the onslaught against black love that has been going on in entertainment and social media, the situation is much more complicated now. Love, on the other hand, is an intricate and potent energy that can be expressed in a myriad of ways and in various settings. It can develop and shift with time. You could declare that you love your spouse, family, closest friend, career, or even inanimate material items – things that could never give back the love you lavish upon them. This is because these things cannot reciprocate your feelings of affection in any way.
Using the following explanations of the eight types of love, you may better understand the sort of love you experience and why it’s necessary to consider each form of love in your relationships to achieve pleasure and contentment.
- Eros – Romantic love
Eros, the Greek deity of fertility and the origin of the term “love,” is the first type of love. In modern parlance, this term refers to feelings of romance, passion, desire, and attraction. It is a metaphor for the intoxicating and exhilarating feelings in the first stages of a romantic relationship. Imagine falling “head over heels” and “in love at first sight” with the beautiful Helen of Troy, like Paris did. According to Greek mythology, one of Cupid’s arrows was responsible for causing this sort of insanity.
Eros is a flame that burns hot and bright. While this kind of love will frequently transform into another type over time, the flame has to be fanned with other aspects of love to prevent it from going out altogether.
- Philia – Love that is warm and fuzzy
Philia refers to the affection that blossoms throughout a profound and ongoing friendship. It is not romantic in any way, but it is courteous. It shows that you care sincerely about that buddy because you know you can confide in and trust them completely. You might say that a friendship like this is equally powerful as a love connection, in which the termination of the “relationship” may cause you the same kind of emotional chaos.
Spending quality time with genuine friends and letting them know how much they mean to you is more vital than ever nowadays when friends have become faceless followers on social media platforms like Facebook and Twitter. Because from the early 1930s, the concept of friendship as correlated with happiness has been acknowledged and investigated.
- Storge – Familiar love
Storage is a subtype of Philia that refers to the love between a parent and child, characterized by a deep connection, kinship, and familiarity. However, it may also refer to the love between close family friends or friends you have known since you were a child. This emotional connection is intimately connected to memories, and the more significant memories you build, the deeper your relationship will be, and the happier you will be as a result. This love will not go away with the passing of the years.
- Ludus – Playful love
The Ancient Greeks placed a high significance on playful love as the fourth category of love. We’ve all tasted it at some point, whether in the playful banter and ribbing that occurs in the early stages of a relationship before all of the seriousness begins or when we’re out at a bar dancing with strangers. The important thing is to enjoy yourself, flirt with others, and get a joyful sensation, even if no expectations or commitments are involved.
Playfulness in a relationship is what keeps it alive. Playfulness in a relationship keeps it alive, fascinating, and different. As a bonus, it causes those delicious little butterflies in the stomach.
- Pragma – Enduring love
Pragma is a love that has grown and evolved. It is founded on dedication, obligation, and understanding. It’s more than love at first sight or friendship; it goes far deeper than that. It is a type of love that takes work to find. Still, it is the sort of love that can be discovered between two people who have given it their best, made sacrifices, and worked hard to keep the love that we are all so anxiously pursuing. Think about married couples who have been together for a long time or friendships lasting for a decade or more.
It is essential to remember the importance of cherishing the people who have been by your side throughout this ordeal. You will be rewarded with emotional ecstasy and delight if you care for the people who are important to you and cultivate meaningful relationships.
- Mania – Obsessive love
This pattern of compulsive romantic behavior occurs when there is an unequal balance of lust and passion between the two people involved. Instead of feeling equal, safe, and welcomed, one may require frequent reassurance from their spouse, which can build a degree of emotional co-dependency that can lead to jealousy and possessiveness in the relationship. Let’s say that in this particular scenario, it would have been preferable for you to have never loved anyone.
- Agape – Universal love
This love is neither conditional nor dependent on anything in return, transcending both of us. The Greek word agape, translated as “charity,” can be understood as an “unselfish concern for the welfare of others.” Simply being is sufficient; there is no need for a biological connection or a (romantic) tie that can be traced back to the Middle Ages. How you feel about a person, or any living creature for that matter, is irrelevant to this concept of universal loving-kindness; what matters is that you love them without expecting anything in return. This may be the purest kind of love that exists.
These people consider themselves quite happy and report very high levels of satisfaction in their relationships. This may be because they are so welcoming of others.
- Philautia, or love for oneself
There’s the kind of love that’s romantic, the one that’s fun, the kind that makes you a little scared, and the unconditional kind, but is this one the most important? After all, if we can figure out how to love and accept ourselves, then wouldn’t that make it easier for us to love other people meaningfully? The ancient Greeks were ahead of their time in their understanding that before we can care for and love other people, we must first be able to channel these emotions inwards. It might be self-evident, but our connection with ourselves will be the one we maintain for the longest time. Individuals who wish to improve their relationships with others and, most importantly, with themselves can do it by praying, making positive affirmations, meditating, exercising, and eating healthily. This is the best practice for individuals who want to enhance their relationships.
One of life’s greatest pleasures is giving and receiving love, regardless of who, what, or how it is given or received.
The need to love and be loved is universal. Because of this, it’s essential to have a healthy relationship with oneself. When we do things for ourselves that bring us happiness, appreciation, and acts of compassion, we have more energy to share with other people.