After having multiple discussions with women on my Facebook page about what it means to be independent or a man’s peace of mind, I concluded that I should write this chapter. What I witnessed from comments from men and women has led me to conclude that there is a misunderstanding regarding Black Love and relationships.
Nowadays, women believe that the strong Black independent mindset that encourages women to obtain a six-figure job, title, or social status is the factor that determines whether they are a good choice for a good man to want a relationship and marry. However, none of these factors play a significant role in the decision of a man to make a woman his wife. An Independent mindset based on the previous factors is not the same mindset that leads to success in a healthy, spiritually connected relationship with a Black man.
Today’s culture has propagated a myth about marriage, according to which some of today’s women actively work to prevent or discourage Black men and Black women from entering a holy union.
Suppose a woman is living in her Femininity and is looking to have a divine union with a Black man. In many cases, in today’s culture, she is discouraged and made to feel less than what the modern woman culture has portrayed as a powerful independent woman. They have failed to understand that the Black Feminine and the Black Masculine are inextricably linked.
You cannot be independent and be in a divine union. The definition of independent:
- From outside control, not depending on another’s authority.
- Not depending on another for livelihood or sustenance.
The current cultural concept of independence stands in direct opposition to the institution of marriage. How can you be married to a man but refuse to submit to your man’s authority and expect him to submit to your femininity? How is it possible for you to be married and not let your husband provide for you? How can you be married if your existence of Black Love is independent of the dual nature of the union you and your partner share?
The characteristics of one person are complementary to those of another. When God first created the Black man as part of His master plan, He also created a dichotomy between the Black masculine and feminine. Marriage is the noblest way to express the complexities of this dual nature.
When Black men and women operate outside of their duality, it creates tension, anxiety, and chaos in the relationships, family, and, ultimately, the community. Unfortunately, Black males and females have been operating under stress, anxiety, and confusion in our relationships, resulting in dysfunctional families and communities for a long time: it’s normal and promoted.
In Black Love, there is no place for either inferiority or superiority in the companionship of the Black marriage. It is not the case that the Black man walks ahead of the Black woman, nor is it that the Black woman walks ahead of the man. On their journey through their union through life, they do so as the divine representatives of God, walking hand in hand and side by side.
Black Love in marriage, in its purest form, is a partnership in which both parties participate on an equal footing. Neither partner has authority or control over the other; instead, they encourage and support one another in carrying out their responsibilities and pursuing their individual goals.
When it comes to black Love, a healthy relationship between a Black man and a Black woman involves honesty, trust, respect, and open communication between the two parties. Additionally, such a relationship requires effort and compromise from both parties. Being an individual is an excellent quality when working in the duality of Black Love.
Still, when your consciousness is broken to the mindset of being independent of your spouse, you struggle to accept or ask for help, and you feel that you don’t need him; this can become much more concerning in the future of your relationship.
Black woman, it would be best if you considered your husbands your most treasured companions and conducted yourselves in a manner worthy of that association. I can imagine some that read my last statement, your nose and face have turned up. But hear me clearly, as a man that strives to be healthy and at peace. Being a man’s peace of mind is not your weakness; that’s your superpower!
When the Black woman gives the Black man peace of mind, he will see Black women as wives and the most valuable asset in his lifetime or eternity. He will work from sun up to sun down and place you on the pedestal you should be on. He will see you as his wife, the daughter of God, and a partner with whom he can walk hand in hand through sunshine and storm, through all of life’s perils and triumphs, and give his life for you.