We live in a time that Black marriages are at an all-time low. Black marriages in America are the lowest of all ethnic groups at thirty percent.
Black women file eighty percent of all divorces in Black marriages. However, 42.2 percent of Black marriages end in divorce (the highest of all ethnic groups) within an average of nine years of marriage. Only 7.7 percent of Black married couples seek marriage counseling.
With the low rate of marriage and divorce, is there a problem with submission in the Black marriage?
Submission is a word that has become taboo in Black marriages and relationships. It evokes images of many Black women as being weak and inferior. For men, it is a simp or less than a man. Yes, men can and should submit to their significant other. We will get to that later.
The other problem involving submission these days is that Black women, in many cases, have to be independent because of past experiences in relationships. As a result, some women come across as highly independent with a distorted perception of Submission. In fear of disappointment, they won’t allow a man to be a man.
Abnormal behavior between Black men and women has taken over what we call a Black culture to the point that we have forgotten divine instincts as Black men to protect our women, children, family, and elderly. We have allowed toxic masculine individuals to take advantage of the situations within our community through crime, violence, and abuse of women.
Society has said it’s ok for women to be just as masculine as men, and in some cases, there are women even more masculine than their men; so the duality of the masculine and feminine is construed, and men are unable to express their masculine in love because women are afraid to show their vulnerability in their feminine side. Where there is no duality in submission, there is no power!
Submission means putting the needs and wants of the other before your own. Submission frees us from self-centeredness and allows us to consider the desires of others. So when a woman submits to a man, she will let him lead, provided his leadership is reasonable and just.
The concept of “mutual submission” has been debated and is frequently misunderstood. Nevertheless, the fundamental idea that underpins the term is still relevant today. One aspect of Black love we should have for one another is the willingness to submit to one another. This means not constantly insisting on getting one’s way or lording it over others. This applies to both the husband and the wife as well. Both should treat one another with the same level of concern and thoughtfulness; that’s in the DNA of our essence. Neither should try to usurp the authority of the other or exert control over them.
For men, the core meaning is the same. A man favors his women when he submits to his wife’s or significant other’s femininity. The need for love, understanding, honor, and protection. The man must also put the needs and wants of the other before his own. When a man submits, he is willing to sacrifice his life to the woman he submits to, the same way the good book says Christ sacrifice his life for the church. My brothers, this does not make you less than a man; it makes you a stronger man. It gives you power!
Let’s be clear; it is never divine or healthy for anyone to submit to a male or female who seeks to rule over them, disrespect them, violate their sense of personhood, or act in any way that might resemble abuse. You put a person like that out of your life and continue to eat clean, fast, meditate, excise, and pray until the right person comes into your life so that your dualities empower each other.
A power couple is a couple who both submits to each other’s strengths and supports each other’s individuality to strengthen the duality of their relationship. They submit to each other; at the same time, they both submit to God. However, when there is no submission in a relationship, there is no power in the relationship.
When an unjust society destroys the duality between the Black man and women by substituting Black Culture with ignorance and toxicity, we look to external authority figures to provide the resources.
This causes an over-reliance on the government. Just look at the Black community! Individualism is prioritized over a sense of family or the Black community. Our society and culture have become further removed from nature and the healthy balance of man and woman submitting to each other.
We have found it easier to submit to our jobs, money, and materialism than to the ones we love. This is not power; it’s slavery!
The power of Black Love is the natural Submission of the feminine to the masculine and the masculine to the feminine, and both submit to the divine unity. Until we humble ourselves and submit to that spiritual order, we will continue to see chaos and disorder in our communities.