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Black Love Series: Black Love is Knowing the art of Loving Communication

At the foundation of Black Love is communication. The greater the depth of communication, the stronger the bond is between you and your spouse. 

Black Love survives and thrives when people share their thoughts and feelings regularly. You develop trust in your relationship by sharing your heart and allowing yourself to become vulnerable. You make that trust grow when you resolve to become a person that makes your spouse feel safe to open up and be vulnerable. 

Being in a long-term relationship or marriage is work, and it can often cause complicated emotions within both of you. In that case, however, you can maintain your spiritual bonding even when life presents its most significant challenges. Black Love is committing to seeing the other person’s point of view and creating an atmosphere of safety and open communication.

Communication is vital in a healthy relationship, but it’s not always easy to communicate lovingly. One of the most intricate attributes of Black Love is loving and thoughtful communication.

Loving communication can be integrated into listening, talking, body language, daily habits, and other activities. Discover how to use all these forms of communication to enhance Black Love in your relationship and experience a more joyful and fulfilling love life. 

Black Love is Listening 

When communicating with your partner, listening is even more important than speaking. You must listen carefully to your partner. 

Unfortunately, it’s easier to speak than to hear each other. 

Many couples develop habits such as tuning out the other person or nodding their head in agreement without listening. They may learn to ignore each other rather than focus on each other during their conversations. Unfortunately, these actions can spell doom.

You can use the same conversations to strengthen your relationship instead of taking advantage of them to show your love. 

Try these ways to show your Black Love when you listen: 

Look at your partner when they’re talking. They’ll be pleased that they have your full attention. This action allows you to start the conversation in a positive, respectful, and complimentary light – even when you’re not the one talking.

Practice active listening. This type of listening shows the other person you’re engaged in the conversation.

Active listening can take many forms.

Some examples of active listening include nodding your head, saying something in agreement, or asking questions to clarify their meaning. 

Show that you understand. Sometimes a smile or a nod is enough to show this. Other times you can show understanding by continuing the conversation and providing advice or tips. 

Avoid interruptions. Whether your phone goes off during a conversation or you stop the speaker in the middle of a sentence, interruptions can be annoying and break down communication. 

We have been culture sabotaged to keep our phones in our faces when talking. This is not how you show love when communicating. Turn off your phones and other devices while listening to your partner. 

Make the conversation a top priority. Show how much you care by the way you listen. Your partner will notice the loving difference! 

Black Love is Talking 

The way you talk to each other has a significant impact on your relationship. From small talk to terms of endearment, your voice has power.

Many couples can share their love through conversations at the beginning of a relationship. However, they struggle to keep the momentum going, and loving words fade as the relationship ages. 

You don’t have to forget love while talking!

Consider these tips for keeping your love alive:

Give small talk a chance. Sometimes, small talk is appropriate and can be used to convey Black. It’s only occasionally necessary to have deep and meaningful conversations. 

  • From discussing work to discussing the weather, small talk can be an easier way to start a conversation with your partner. It can show that you still care about each other by sharing things. 
  • Even sharing small details of your life can strengthen your emotional bond. 

Remember to use loving terms. Terms of endearment can make a big difference in a relationship. 

  • Using affectionate terms or cute pet names is one option. 

Keep saying you love them. Many couples who have been together for a long time forget to say I love you. Remember to tell your partner that you love them. 

  • Although there are many ways to express your love, sometimes it’s important to say it out loud. These three simple words, “I love you,” can serve as verbal reassurance.

Express yourself with love. Sometimes anger and resentment can boil over in a conversation, but it’s important to resist them. 

  • Try to avoid using language that is hurtful and negative with your partner.
  • Consider how your partner will feel after hearing you talk. 
  • Avoid letting anger and the passion of the moment cloud your judgment. 
  • It often helps to take a break or walk away to cool off during a severe argument. Use words that still contain love when you return. 

The way you talk matters in a loving relationship. Ensure you communicate your love through your words daily. 

Black Love is Body Language 

Do you pay attention to body language while near your partner? 

Your body language is another way to show love in a relationship. Whether you use your eyes or a smile, subtle things can express love. 

Your body language is essential to your partner. They can pick up on unverbalized emotions from your body language, so make it count!

Try these strategies to show love with your body language:

Focus on the eyes. Do you look at your partner while talking, or are you staring at the wall or your phone? 

  • Researchers have found that partners who gaze at each other lovingly have stronger relationships. So it’s essential to look at your partner while talking and listening. 
  • Try to avoid staring into space or looking at another object while they talk. 
  • When you look away from your loved one while they talk, they may think you’re bored with the conversation or even bored with them. 

Smile. Of course, you only want to smile at appropriate times, but many couples need to remember to smile. However, this simple gesture can carry a lot of meaning.

  • Remember that smiling can also help you by boosting your immune system and improving your mood, so you get many benefits. 

Face your partner. While you’re talking, face each other. This shows you’re focused and interested in them. 

  • In addition, lean in a bit while they’re talking. This also shows that you care and are involved in the conversation. 

Other body language tips. Use these actions, too, in your body language to communicate your love: 

  • Nod your head at appropriate times during the conversation. 
  • Point your feet toward the speaker because this moves the body in that direction and shows you’re interested. 
  • Crossing your arms is often viewed as a defensive and hostile tactic, so leave your arms in a more natural position. One study found that people who cross their arms are also less likely to retain information from the conversation.
  • Hold your partner’s hands. During a difficult or emotional moment, this can express your love. 

Body language is a crucial part of communication. Practice these body language tips daily to enhance your relationship with more love.

Black Love is loving Daily Habits 

How do you use daily habits to show your love?

Whether you pour your partner the first cup of coffee each morning or fold their clothes a certain way that they prefer, the daily habits in a relationship can significantly impact them. 

Consider how your daily habits affect your partner. 

These habits can bring even more love into your relationship:

Keep writing love notes. Love notes always stay in style! Although love notes are a classic way to express love, they still work in these modern times. 

  • Write a short love note on a sticky note. 
  • Send a love note through email or social media. It doesn’t have to be hand-written on fancy paper to have meaning. 
  • Even a loving text message can brighten your partner’s day. 

Make date night part of the schedule. Although date night may not be possible every week, you can still make it a habit. 

  • Try to add at least one date night a month to your schedule. 
  • Date night is the perfect opportunity to practice your loving communication and reconnect. 
  • Remember that date night doesn’t have to be fancy or expensive. A quiet and simple dinner at home or movie night in the living room can make perfect date nights. You can also go to a museum or art studio or see a free play. 

Sharing small gifts. Although gifts are often expected on holidays and birthdays, you can share smaller ones throughout the year. 

  • Consider giving each other small and meaningful gifts more often.
  • They don’t have to be expensive and can be useful objects. For example, give your partner a new notebook or pen set if they love to write. 
  • Even a photograph of you and your partner in a new frame can be a gift. 

Share chores. One of the biggest complaints from couples is housework and sharing chores. 

  • You can show your love by doing chores ahead of time without nagging. 
  • You can also help by taking on your partner’s chores.
  • When one person does an unfair share of the housework, it can strain the relationship. They may feel angry and resentful while also being overworked.

Add more joy and laughter. From sharing funny jokes to watching more comedies, adding humor can help you connect. 

  • Adding more joy and laughter will make the relationship feel lighter yet more robust as you enjoy your time together. 
  • Try to add more humor to your daily interactions. 

Give foot rubs and massages. After a long day at work or home, your partner will appreciate this gesture. 

  • Foot rubs and massages are free and easy to show you care. 
  • They are great romantic gestures that only require a little planning or time. 

Couples should get a couples massage at least once a month. 

It provides a chance for both parties to spend time together without having to worry about making conversation or dealing with problems. It’s time together that both spend completely relaxed, sharing positive energies. 

Spend more time together. Some moments have to be planned in advance. Many couples have demanding careers, and if you have children, it is even more challenging, leaving less and less time to spend with each other. It is common these days for couples to plan time to spend quality time together. 

  • Focus on spending more time together each day, and you’ll notice a stronger bond.
  • You don’t have to make it a big event, and it’s normal to read the paper or eat a meal together. Sometimes it’s these simple and quiet moments that matter. 
  • Snuggle together on the couch, go through paperwork, or watch a show on TV. 
  • The key is to be with each other and enjoy each other’s company. 

Your daily habits play a significant role in loving communication. Find some habits that bring you closer together and make it a point to show your love daily in your everyday routines. Add your ideas to these.

  • When you want to build a strong and healthy relationship with your partner, loving communication has to be a cornerstone. 
  • Every word and action can be used to express love. 
  • From daily habits to how you listen, you can use each moment to show your partner that you care about them. 

Remember that loving communication takes practice, so it may not happen in one day. Have fun as you practice and try new ideas together!

Over time, loving words and actions will become a natural part of your communication. You must also be mindful of striving to embrace the opportunity to deepen your relationship and show your spouse how much you care. Put yourself in your partner’s shoes, seek a solution that makes both of you happy, and let go of the need to be correct. If you do, you’ll experience a vibrant, exciting marriage relationship that survives the tough times and lasts a lifetime.

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About Damon K. Jones (238 Articles)
Damon K. Jones is an Activist, Author, and Publisher of Black Westchester Magazine, a Black-owned and operated newspaper based in Westchester County, New York. Mr. Jones is a Holistic Health Practitioner, First Aid in Mental Health Practioner, Diet, and Nutrition Advisor, and Vegan, Vegetarian Nutrition Life Coach. Mr. Jones is a 31 year Law Enforcement Practioner, New York Representative of Blacks in Law Enforcement of America. Mr. Jones has been a guest commentator on New York radio stations WBLS (107.5 FM), WLIB (1190 am), WRKS (98.7 FM), WBAI (99.5 FM), and Westchester's WVOX (1460 am). Mr. Jones has appeared on local television broadcasts, including Westchester News 12 “News Makers” and Public Television “Winbrook Pride. You can now hear Damon every Wednesday at 830 AM on WFAS 1230 AM, Morning with Bob Marone Show.

1 Comment on Black Love Series: Black Love is Knowing the art of Loving Communication

  1. Manifesting this article and author into the new year. I have so many positive feels that I will connect with someone that is ready for the connection and all the positivity that goes with being together!

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