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Black Love Series: Black Love is Emotional Intimacy

Emotional intimacy is a general sense of closeness to another person. For any relationship to be solid and everlasting emotional intimacy must be maintained.

In marriage, emotional intimacy is the DNA of Black Love. Emotional intimacy allows two people to become one. Couples with an intense emotional connection experience comfort, refuge, and security with each other.

A solid emotional connection fosters feelings of comfort, security, refuge, and mutual support between couples,

Those who share emotional intimacy also have a common way of viewing life, Their relationships, and they similarly experience things. They’re soul mates.

Most of us agree that emotional intimacy is important, but what can you do if it’s difficult for you to get close to others?

Black Love is Connecting on a deeper level with the essential people in your life. Black Love is in a relationship where your emotional intimacy thrives. Having an emotional connection is necessary.

Sometimes we’re too hard on ourselves. Consider the times you’ve been emotionally intimate with others. While you might be less emotionally open than you’d like, odds are you have been successful sometime in the past.

Focus on those times when you’ve felt close and connected to someone. Remembering your past can help you gain confidence moving forward in the present and future.

Sleep Intimacy

Sleep is an essential function that recharges your body and mind to remain healthy and stave off diseases. Without enough sleep, the brain cannot function properly. Sleep intimacy is looking forward to a good night’s sleep with your loved one. For a man, it is making his women feel secure at home, and for a woman, it is feeling confident and safe.

Sleep intimacy is recharging the spiritual love connection for each other for the next day. Black Love is looking forward to every night to sleep as a long interlude of blissful security.

Sleep intimacy is looking forward to a good night’s sleep with your loved one. For a man, it is making his women feel secure at home, and for a woman, it is feeling confident and safe.

Sleep intimacy goes far beyond sex. It’s a spiritual harmony between two souls, its heartbeats syncing. Black Love in marriage is meant to be a “forever encounter” sex loses its newness, but the spirituality in talking, laughing, and cuddling in bed creates what is called endless love.

Unfortunately, many Black men and women are lost on the science of Black Love. We often wing it in a relationship and get lucky that it works. But the statistics are not showing it’s working. We are failing in Black Love. We have embraced Black Male and female individuality instead of the yin and yang of Black masculinity and femininity. Black marriages are at the lowest rate of all ethnic groups, and the average Black marriage only last nine years.

If you need to work on your intimacy in your relationship, nows is the time to figure out the reason for your reluctance. Why are you keeping others at arm’s length? Maybe you’ve been let down before, or perhaps your upbringing is the cause. If you’ve been emotionally intimate with others in the past, but are struggling with a particular person now, maybe they’re the source of the challenge. Find the root of the issue and then move forward.

  1. Focus on emotional intimacy. Men tend to be guilty of avoiding emotional intimacy more than women. Relationship building usually occurs outside physical intimacy; one doesn’t equal the other.
  • Enjoy intimacy on both levels, but realize the physical isn’t a substitute for the emotional.
  1. Reveal yourself, even if you start small. While some of us may be more than willing to reveal personal information, others are reluctant to share anything of substance.
  • When you share private things, you build trust and closeness, whereas a lack of sharing is a roadblock to emotional intimacy.
  • If you’re uncomfortable, start small, and you can build from there. Get into the habit of sharing your thoughts and opinions. When someone has earned your trust, share a little more.
  1. Tread lightly. Intimacy builds in subtle ways, as long as you’re open and willing to let someone in. Trying to force intimacy can result in the opposite. You can put the other person on the defensive when you share too much or ask questions that are too personal.
  2. Try getting a little more physical. Acting differently can change the way you feel. Maybe try hugging the other person at a time you usually wouldn’t. Hold hands or squeeze their arm as you walk by. It might feel strange at first, but it will help build that intimacy you seek.

It can be challenging to expose yourself, but emotional intimacy is essential if you want a happy and fulfilling life relationship and marriage. At first, try taking baby steps. If the other person is responding positively, go a little further. Even if you feel closed off from the ones you love, you can create the intimacy you desire.

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About Damon K. Jones (238 Articles)
Damon K. Jones is an Activist, Author, and Publisher of Black Westchester Magazine, a Black-owned and operated newspaper based in Westchester County, New York. Mr. Jones is a Holistic Health Practitioner, First Aid in Mental Health Practioner, Diet, and Nutrition Advisor, and Vegan, Vegetarian Nutrition Life Coach. Mr. Jones is a 31 year Law Enforcement Practioner, New York Representative of Blacks in Law Enforcement of America. Mr. Jones has been a guest commentator on New York radio stations WBLS (107.5 FM), WLIB (1190 am), WRKS (98.7 FM), WBAI (99.5 FM), and Westchester's WVOX (1460 am). Mr. Jones has appeared on local television broadcasts, including Westchester News 12 “News Makers” and Public Television “Winbrook Pride. You can now hear Damon every Wednesday at 830 AM on WFAS 1230 AM, Morning with Bob Marone Show.
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