One of the greatest pleasures a Black man and woman can have in life is the experience of Black Love, both giving and receiving Black Love. Sadly, there is also the possibility of it going very wrong. You risk being mistreated, ignored, miserable, or even worse.
We live in the days when we must act intelligently within our romantic partnerships if we want our experiences with Black Love to bring happiness and contentment into our life.
According to the Daily Mail, approximately sixty percent of us remain in unhealthy relationships that do not give us any sense of fulfillment. However, many behaviors indicate a toxic relationship that many people believe to be normal because they have never experienced anything different. In many instances, we learned unhealthy attitudes about Black Love from our families who had unhealthy relationships. As a result, many of us might be in unhealthy relationships without even being aware of them.
Many of us lead with our emotions or lead with sex, and that is the biggest mistake that we seem never to learn from, even when we are older. It may seem romantic to let your emotions guide your decisions. Still, to protect yourself emotionally and physically, you should ensure that your head or spiritual consciousness is at the forefront of any decisions you make. Recognizing any warning signs when finding a romantic partner will help you maintain a robust and healthy relationship or give you the necessary data to leave the relationship in the dust.
Relationships that aren’t healthy are characterized by disrespect and an unhealthy obsession with having control. We must identify the warning signs of unhealthy relationships before the problems become more serious. The following are some characteristics of relationships that are unhealthy:
Control. This is an unhealthy dynamic when one person in a romantic relationship takes control of all the decisions and tells the other person what to do, what to wear, and who to spend time with. They display excessive jealousy and attempt to cut off the other partner from their network of friends and family members.
Hostility. One of the people in a dating relationship provokes or aggravates the other person in the relationship. Because of this, one of the people you’re dating may adjust their behavior to avoid upsetting the other person.
Dishonesty. The person you’re dating is dishonest and steals from you. One of the people in the relationship lies to the other or withholds information from them.
Disrespect. When one person in a dating relationship makes fun of the other person’s opinions and interests or destroys something the other person owns, this is an example of partner abuse.
Dependence. When two people are dating, one eventually feels like they “cannot live without” the other. They may threaten to take extreme action if the relationship is severed.
Intimidation. One person in a dating relationship attempts to exert power and influence over the other by creating an atmosphere of anxiety and subservience. One person in a romantic relationship might try to isolate the other from their friends and family, threaten physical harm, or end the relationship altogether.
Misuse of force is unacceptable. One of the partners resorts to using coercion to get what they want (such as hitting, slapping, grabbing, or shoving).
Sexual violence. When one person in romantic relationship pressure or coerces the other to engage in sexual activity against their will or without their consent, this is known as sexual coercion. 1
Your longing for the companionship of another person is yet another significant factor to consider. What is it that you are looking for, more specifically? Are you engaging in the activities and visiting the locations that will cause someone compatible with you to become interested in you? Or are you open to meeting anyone who might be interested?
Getting to Know Yourself Is the First Step in Meeting the Right Person
When you’re on the hunt for Mr. or Ms. Right, there are strategies you can employ that will improve your chances of finding the person you’re looking for and contribute to your overall success. The first step you need to take is to examine yourself and determine whether or not you are prepared for the kind of romantic partnership you want.
Remember, a good or bad relationship starts with you! Knowing yourself is knowing to discern the right person for you. Is setting healthy boundaries
Getting ready for a successful relationship can be done in a few different ways:
Become accustomed to spending time by yourself. Are you content with the fact that you are by yourself? You should do so when you enter a romantic relationship because you care about the other person and yourself. If you only want to do it to prevent loneliness, there are better choices than this.
Be clear on the goals you want to accomplish in your life. When looking for someone to spend the rest of your life with, you should prioritize finding someone who shares your values, goals, and dreams. Avoid settling for less than what you truly want because it could negatively impact not only your happiness but also the happiness of your partner in the long run.
Create healthy boundaries. Define your limits (what supports you versus what detracts from your well-being). Communicating your limitations and restrictions to the people in your life is essential. If necessary, remind people of something (but always stick to your boundaries). Just say No! Do not be afraid to tell people or things that don’t benefit you.
Keep sight of the goals you have set. It’s not often a good idea to sacrifice your goals and aspirations for the sake of another person. Find someone who will cheer you on as you pursue your goals and aspirations. When you find the one, you know you should pay attention to what they have to say!
Keep in mind that this is not a race. It is unfair to either of you to choose someone simply so you won’t be lonely. When appropriate, the individual you seek will present themselves to you. It is best not to try to force the issue. When you are least prepared for it, your time will arrive. Try to exercise patience despite the difficulty of the situation.
There Is Much More to Relationships Than Just Romance
There are many different kinds of healthy relationships, and sometimes they don’t even involve romance. Your circle of friends, the people you interact with on the job, and even the members of your own family with whom you choose to spend most of your time can all affect how you feel about yourself and your life.
The reality is that romance only scratches the surface of what intimacy entails. What we mean when we talk about intimacy is a closeness of the mind, body, and spirit that satisfies all aspects and requirements. Therefore, if you feel you are being used or sense an imbalance in the relationship, you should either confront the other person or end the relationship. Every one of our closest relationships should be a win-win, wholesome, and filled with joy.
Making intelligent decisions about the people you let into your life can make a difference. Put yourself in situations surrounded by people who will encourage you and share your values, goals, and dreams.
If you steer clear of unhealthy relationships, you’ll be able to build up strong self-confidence that will be good for your physical and mental health. Keep these warning signs in relationships and relationship advice in mind so that you can fill your life with positive, healthy people.