Black Love Series: 6 Myths About Commitment

Positive ethnic male and female in roller blades sitting together on stairs in city while spending time together at weekend and looking at each other

Are you a steadfast bachelor or bachelorette? Do you value the freedom that being single provides? There’s a good chance you have beliefs about committed in Black Love that aren’t true. Commitment sounds more appealing if you’re brave enough to examine those beliefs.

Unfortunately, some relationships fizzle out because of a lack of commitment by one or the other. But the journey to healing between one relationship and a new one is a rocky road which makes some people fear committing in future relationships.

A committed relationship isn’t the right choice for everyone, but many singles harbor negative attitudes about relationships that aren’t justified.

Examine your beliefs regarding these common relationship myths:

Being in a committed relationship results in less freedom

This is partially true. You do have fewer choices in certain areas of your life. For example, you lose the option of pursuing other romantic relationships. You also might be forced to spend every different Thanksgiving with your in-laws.

But consider the freedoms you gain. You no longer have to search for a mate. No more bad dates. No more spending countless hours online searching dating profiles. No more wondering if the other person will call the next day.

 You may have more financial freedom by adding a second income to your financial situation. The fact of the matter is Married couples between the ages of 24 and 35 today can have a net worth up to nine times higher than single households, the Wall Street Journal reportedIf you choose wisely, you gain much freedom by being in a committed relationship.

A relationship can lead to a boring routine. 

Couples fall into routines, but that routine doesn’t have to be boring. In today’s society, a man or a woman whos committed, takes care of their significant other, is not out in the streets, and has a firm belief in God is boring. It might seem boring to a single person and even some broken-conscious married couples, but sitting on the couch watching old movies with the Love of your life isn’t a bad way to spend an evening. 

* What is your current routine? Is it enjoyable or merely comfortable?

Commitment is a form of giving up. 

Settling down is different from settling down. It’s not necessary to sacrifice your needs or dreams to be part of a relationship.

Figure out what you want. Then figure out what your partner wants. If those things can coexist, commitment isn’t an issue. You can keep your uniqueness and your dreams. The other person’s uniqueness and goals make life even more enjoyable.

You can force someone to commit to you. 

There’s no way to force someone else to want to be with you. You might be able to force a commitment in the short term, but your partner will be looking for a way out. You’ve only received a commitment because being alone is too scary, not because the possibility of being with you is so appealing.

In the end, you will have a relationship that contains resentment. Resentment is like a slow-acting poison to a relationship.

Commitment is a one-time event. 

The truth is that commitment is a daily exercise. You have to create your relationship with your partner each day. As soon as you fail to put energy into it, it begins to die.

Committed relationships are supposed to be perfect. 

No relationship is perfect. Being in a committed relationship doesn’t guarantee perfection. All relationships have challenging times. Anything that involves two people will have tough moments. Those challenges provide an opportunity to grow and strengthen your relationship.

Experiencing Black Love can be easy. Black Love in a committed serious relationship is more complex, but that doesn’t mean it’s the wrong choice. Commonly believed myths regarding relationships keep too many people on the sidelines and lose out on Black Love. Most people find life more enjoyable and meaningful when shared with someone else. Think about your beliefs regarding relationships. Are they holding you back?